My name is Jamie Braithwaite. I am a mother of three beautiful daughters and I try everyday to be the best MOM I can be. I have learned that it takes baby steps, lots of learning, more mistakes, and an eternal perspective to endure & enjoy motherhood! I hope you enjoy this blog and I hope you enjoy motherhood!
MOM.jamieBEE.com
There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.
Mothers Who Know
Mothers Who Know Bear Children.
Mothers Who Know Honor.
Mothers Who Know Are Nurturers.
Mothers Who Know Are Leaders.
Mothers Who Know Are Teachers.
Mothers Who Know Do Less.
Mothers Who Know Stand Strong and Immovable.
Read more by JULIE B. BECK October 2007
Celebrating Womanhood
Click here to read the full article. It has been said that before becoming somebody’s wife, before becoming somebody’s mother, become somebody. Let us consider seven variations on that theme.
- First, become somebody who can support herself.
- Second, before becoming somebody’s wife, be careful about who that somebody is.
- Third, before becoming somebody’s mother, become somebody capable of being a good mother.
- Fourth, before becoming somebody’s wife or somebody’s mother, become somebody who can make her own life richer.
- Fifth, before becoming somebody’s wife and somebody’s mother, become somebody who is spiritually strong.
- Sixth, a message especially for young men: Become somebody who encourages young women to reach their full intellectual and spiritual potential.
- Finally, become somebody who understands that being a woman is worth celebrating. Women who are prepared for life can celebrate with confidence. Never have opportunities for prepared women been greater—in the home, in the Church, in the work force when appropriate, and in the community.
A woman celebrates womanhood in many ways. As Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, she may “rock a sobbing child without wondering if today’s world is passing [her] by, because [she knows she holds] tomorrow tightly in [her] arms.” (Ensign, May 1978, p. 10.)
Making Decisions
My adorable friend, 26 years old married with no children of her own, asked a few questions on her blog:
“SO my questions to you are…How do you know when you are truly ready? when do you know it’s the RIGHT time…if ever? how do you get over YOUR fears to bring a beautiful baby into this world?”
These questions have got me thinking…. so I went to LDS.org and started researching about making decisions. Sometime it is hard to make decisions! This is a great article from the 1976 New Era Magazine about a boy that cliff jumps off a 80 foot cliff because of a dare. IT is what he learns as he is falling that impacts the rest of his life. My favorite parts are as follows:
Deciding about Decisions
BY KIETH MERRILL
Decisions are miserable aren’t they? It seems like every five minutes we’re called upon to make a decision. Every time we turn around we’re given alternatives and choices. We decide what we’re going to do tomorrow and the next day, and what we’re going to do with our lives. Decisions bridge the gap between what we know and what we do.
Have you ever stopped to think about the “big movie in the sky?” What would it be like to have your parents see a movie of everything you do? It’s interesting to parallel our lives with a motion picture, because making a motion picture is really just a matter of selection. While making “The Great American Cowboy” we exposed 160,000 feet of motion picture film. If you looked at all the film we shot and didn’t use, it would take about 80 hours. The final film is 90 minutes long. That means we discarded 49 feet of film for every foot we used. We call that a shooting ratio of 50 to 1. For every 50 feet of film, we use one.
Life is like that. Most decisions you make have 50 alternatives. From these 50 alternatives you decide upon one, and the one you choose becomes a permanent part of the eternal record of your life.
You have the ability to select; you have the power to choose. That is what our Heavenly Father gave us with the marvelous principle called free agency.
Decisions are not easy. We make at least a million decisions during our lifetime. Because of radio, television, newspapers, magazines, billboards, and all the other communication tools in our environment, we are bombarded by some 1,500 separate messages a day. We can’t use all of them. We have to select the ones we think about, the ones we make a permanent part of the “film” of our lives. We have to choose.
Remember this was in 1976. According to CBSNews “Walker-Smith says we’ve gone from being exposed to about 500 ads a day back in the 1970′s to as many as 5,000 a day today.” Merrill in the New Era article it goes on to tell that one of his buddies dared everyone that he could cliff jump off the highest cliff. They started at 50 feet, 60 feet, 70 feet, and then Merrill went to the top and jumped off the 80 foot cliff to win the dare. He realized at that moment, nearly killing himself on the dangerous jump, that he had let peer pressure make his decision rather than deciding for himself that the jump was too dangerous.
Listening to the right voices
That’s the way decisions are. They are either made by us, or they’re made by the circle of people around us. And there are many voices talking to us when we make decisions. There are the voices of friends, parents, teachers, and others. We should listen to some of the voices. We should reject others because not all voices give good counsel. As you face the challenge of being in but not of the world, recognize that you must make the decisions about your life. Be assured that if the world makes decisions for you, you will be of the world, and there’s no way to avoid it.
Merrill continues to talk about the five or six most important decisions in this life teenagers will be faced with making. And if they decide early they will only have to make the decision once. The first two decisions are most important: ”First, decide that you are important…. The second great decision I think you need to make is to decide never to compromise…”
This does not relate directly to the decision of when to have a child, but I still think there are many decisions to be made and having the confidence to make your OWN DECISIONS is an important trait we all can learn.
My Mother’s Hands
By Lorie Barton, “My Mother’s Hands”, Friend, May 2010, 16
I’m thankful for my mother’s hands, which help me every day.
With her hands she shows me how to work and how to play.
It seems that when I need some help, her hands are always there
To tie my shoes, or make my lunch, or comb my messy hair.
Her hands know how to fix my bike and how to make my bed,
And how to find a scripture verse to ease my worried head.
I want my hands, like Mother’s, to serve others every day.
I want my hands to know, like hers, how to work and play.
I know that when she needs some help, my hands can help her too.
Because she’s taught me well, they know exactly what to do.
I’ll thank my mother for her hands and hug her really tight
And promise her to use my hands to always do what’s right.
Illustration by Bryan Beach
Precious Children—A Gift from God
General Conference Talk by THOMAS S. MONSON October 1991
This is a great article about children! You can read the full article on lds.org
“Our children have three classrooms of learning which are quite distinct one from another. I speak of the classroom at school, the classroom in church, and the classroom called home.”
“Many years ago, at a Church magazine awards banquet, we sat with President and Sister Harold B. Lee. President Lee said to our teenage daughter Ann, “The Lord has blessed you with a beautiful face and body. Keep the inside just as beautiful as the outside, and you will be blessed with true happiness.” This master teacher left with Ann an inspired guide to the celestial kingdom of our Heavenly Father.”
The Gold Star
“The Gold Star”, Friend, May 1975
“You are each to write a poem,” the teacher said. The girls in the third-grade class smiled at each other and quickly started writing. But the boys looked uncomfortable and wondered what they could write, especially Roberto.
The teacher told them that the one who wrote the best poem about mother would have a gold star pasted by his or her name on the blackboard. Roberto half closed his eyes, trying to imagine what it would be like to see his name with a big, shining golden star beside it. But his dream lasted only a moment for he was sure that no poem he wrote would ever be judged as the best one.
Roberto looked at the blank sheet his teacher had given him. He bounced his pencil on its eraser end and then started to make some marks on the paper. I could easily draw a star, he decided, lots of them; but that wouldn’t mean very much, not nearly as much as if a big, gold one were placed beside my name on the blackboard!
Debbie waved her hand. “I’m through,” she announced when the teacher called on her. “May I read my poem now?”
“All the poems will be read at three o’clock this afternoon and you may read yours first,” the teacher promised.
Promptly at three, the teacher called on Debbie who stood up proudly and read:
Mothers buy dresses and shoes and things.
They give us parties and rings.
We wish them a Happy Mother’s Day.
We hope mothers are here to stay.
Bobby was next:
Mothers make clown suits and lemonades
And fix sore toes with keen band-aids;
But there’s one thing she can’t do, and I wish she could—
That’s learn to like bugs, like mothers should.
Eagerly the children read the poems they had written for their mothers, all except Roberto. “I can’t make a poem,” he explained. “The words don’t rhyme.” The children exchanged amused smiles. “But I’ve written what I feel,” he continued, and then Roberto read:
Mothers … mothers make …
Well, mothers make you hurt inside …
When you haven’t got one.
He looked around at the boys and girls, expecting them to laugh because he couldn’t write a poem. They looked back at him. There was no laughter in their eyes.
And everyone in the third grade was glad when their teacher put a big, gold star on the blackboard next to the name of Roberto José Martinez.
Mothers Who Know Stand Strong and Immovable
Who will prepare this righteous generation of sons and daughters? Latter-day Saint women will do this—women who know and love the Lord and bear testimony of Him, women who are strong and immovable and who do not give up during difficult and discouraging times. We are led by an inspired prophet of God who has called upon the women of the Church to “stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord.” 6 He has asked us to “begin in [our] own homes” 7 to teach children the ways of truth. Latter-day Saint women should be the very best in the world at upholding, nurturing, and protecting families. I have every confidence that our women will do this and will come to be known as mothers who “knew” (Alma 56:48). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. Read more by JULIE B. BECK October 2007
The Family
The family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children. I, Jamie Braithwaite, have a family. I have two loving parents, Jim and Joy Lea. I have 4 brothers, Jimmy, Eric, Robert, Troy. I have a husband, Garth, and together we have three beautiful daughters. Gracie, Ainsley, and Emiline. I am blessed to be part of a wonderful family that will be together forever!
THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints proclaimed to the world during a Relief Society Meeting in 1995 the importance of family and especially motherhood. I am empowered by my responsibility to nurture my children. I am grateful that my husband presides over our family in love and righteousness. I am grateful that my husband provides the necessities of life and protects our family. I am honored to help my husband as an equal partner in raising our eternal family.
I know that I am a daughter of God, and he has trusted me to be a mother.
Read more of the The Family: A Proclamation to the World Official Statement
“HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
…By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.”
Mothers Who Know Do Less
Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord’s kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power. Read more by JULIE B. BECK October 2007
Mothers Who Know Are Teachers
Mothers who know are always teachers. Since they are not babysitters, they are never off duty. A well-taught friend told me that he did not learn anything at church that he had not already learned at home. His parents used family scripture study, prayer, family home evening, mealtimes, and other gatherings to teach. Think of the power of our future missionary force if mothers considered their homes as a pre–missionary training center. Then the doctrines of the gospel taught in the MTC would be a review and not a revelation. That is influence; that is power. Read more by JULIE B. BECK October 2007
Mothers Who Know Are Leaders
Mothers who know are leaders. In equal partnership with their husbands, they lead a great and eternal organization. These mothers plan for the future of their organization. They plan for missions, temple marriages, and education. They plan for prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. Mothers who know build children into future leaders and are the primary examples of what leaders look like. They do not abandon their plan by succumbing to social pressure and worldly models of parenting. These wise mothers who know are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most. Read more by JULIE B. BECK October 2007
Mothers Who Know Are Nurturers
Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role under the plan of happiness. 5 To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. Another word for nurturingis homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a “house of order,” and women should pattern their homes after the Lord’s house (see D&C 109). Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work. Helping growth occur through nurturing is truly a powerful and influential role bestowed on women. Read more by JULIE B. BECK October 2007
Mothers Who Know Honor Sacred Ordinances and Covenants
Mothers who know honor sacred ordinances and covenants. I have visited sacrament meetings in some of the poorest places on the earth where mothers have dressed with great care in their Sunday best despite walking for miles on dusty streets and using worn-out public transportation. They bring daughters in clean and ironed dresses with hair brushed to perfection; their sons wear white shirts and ties and have missionary haircuts. These mothers know they are going to sacrament meeting, where covenants are renewed. These mothers have made and honor temple covenants. They know that if they are not pointing their children to the temple, they are not pointing them toward desired eternal goals. These mothers have influence and power. Read more by JULIE B. BECK October 2007
Mothers Who Know Bear Children
Mothers who know desire to bear children. Whereas in many cultures in the world children are “becoming less valued,” 2 in the culture of the gospel we still believe in having children. Prophets, seers, and revelators who were sustained at this conference have declared that “God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.” 3 President Ezra Taft Benson taught that young couples should not postpone having children and that “in the eternal perspective, children—not possessions, not position, not prestige—are our greatest jewels.” 4
Faithful daughters of God desire children. In the scriptures we read of Eve (see Moses 4:26), Sarah (see Genesis 17:16), Rebekah (see Genesis 24:60), and Mary (see 1 Nephi 11:13–20), who were foreordained to be mothers before children were born to them. Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, but just as Hannah of the Old Testament prayed fervently for her child (see 1 Samuel 1:11), the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection (seeD&C 130:18). Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.Read more by JULIE B. BECK October 2007
“…You can do this”
After many tears and screams and unsuccesful nap attempts from both her and I this afternoon – were both at wits end!!!
I resort to rocking Gracie when she sits up very serious and she says,
“Your the best Mom. You can do this”
Those words made me cry!! we rocked and I hugged her and sang another song. And within minutes she was sound asleep. She is a big girl and wise beyond her years!! I am grateful she is so wonderful even if at times we want different “plans”! This moment was a tender mercy in my mothering career!
Now I am ready for my nap! And a weekend with Dad home!!!!!
Tuacahn Duathlon/Castle Rock Challenge – February 28th, 2009
This weekend we had a great time cheering on the famLEA that entered in the Tuacahn Duathlon/Castle Rock Challenge – February 28th, 2009.
Eric Lea (my brother) competed in his first Olympic Duathlon. He has run several other Triathlons and plans on entering more this year.
Carrie Lea (Eric’s wife) competed for the first time this weekend and looked fantastic!
Aunt Karen & Joy Lea (my mom) competed for the first time this weekend and won 1st place in their age group!
Madison, Cassidy, and Afton competed in the kids race!
Jimmy, Shauna, Madison, Cassidy, JD, Afton, Eliot, Simon, Robert, Jaime Lynne, Jamie B, Gracie, and Ainsley all came to watch and cheer on the racers!
The race results are below:
You can see some of our iPhone pictures & trip on FamBEE.org Tuacahn Duathlon
famLEA photo
We all gathered together this weekend in celebration of Troy & Trisha’s Wedding on Saturday and Jimmy’s birthday on Sunday. After the traditional famLEA prayer & hug {{sure LOVE ya!}} We posed for a quick famLEA photo! The famLEA now contains 2 Parents, 5 children, 5 in-laws, 8 grandchildren, 2 grandchildren on the way, and 4 dogs.
What is your Mantra?
What is a Mantra?
man·tra (mān’trə) n. (1) A sacred verbal formula repeated in prayer, meditation, or incantation, such as an invocation of a god, a magic spell, or a syllable or portion of scripture containing mystical potentialities. (2) A commonly repeated word or phrase.
What is your Mantra?
Here is an example from my Sister-in-law. She is a gifted writer and has created a beautiful Mantra that she says it to herself a lot when she is in on a walk or in the shower. It’s a quick way to regain perspective and short enough to remember easily and precisely.
I’m happy. I’m healthy. I’m terrific. I am a gifted, capable person.
I am a mother who loves her children and who seeks God’s guidance, for He has promised blessings temporal and spiritual to those who keep His commandments. I can do GREAT things because I know He loves me, and He will help me succeed.
The most important elements to her are:
1. Who I am, not just who I believe myself to be in my best moments, but the reminder of my essential value (and potential) for those times when I don’t feel any too great about me.
2. What I believe. The most fundamental elements of my current personal testimony are stated short and sweet in here.
3. What I want for myself. This should naturally follow the first two, but self-doubt and other negative emotions are effective saboteurs and I abandon my dreams quite easily…nothing fancy, mind you. Mostly stuff like having a happy, stable family. I kept it simple so I would believe it as I said it to myself.
4. The last part, and a very important element is giving credit to Heavenly Father so that when things do go well, you’re sure to recognize His hand in it. That comes to play even in small ways, like the word “gifted.” As I use it, I know that my capabilities are a gift from God.
Choose your words very intentionally. “Mother” is a loaded word for me. It’s a responsibility and a privilege.
I chose, “I KNOW He loves me” and “He has promised” on purpose. They are definitive terms. It is my reminder to me of all the moments of personal witness that are too easily forgotten…you get the idea. Using proactive words was a stretch for noncommittal me.
Good luck writing your own Mantras! Please share them!!
How to get rid of a Tension Migrane
Suboccipital Tension Release
You might do it to yourself if someone isn’t around by rolling up a towel or something and laying your head over it in the same spot (just below the ridge on the back of your skull). This can help a lot if the headache is caused by tension.
- With the patient supine and the physician seated at the head of the table, the physician places his fingertips together under the suboccipital area (the occipito-atlantal junction).
- With his/her fingertips, the physician directs traction anteriorly and superiorly with a force comparable to the weight of the head.
- Treatment is continued until the tissues release as evidenced by the head falling to your palm.
This may be applied up to the nuchal lines when the muscles there are found to be in a state of contracture.
Suboccipital tension release may be used for tension headaches and in preparation for cervical correction. This technique also stretches dural attachments at C2, C3 and the occiput.
Can Colic Be Cured?
Here is a great article by Tula Karras
Found at www.parenting.com Baby Health Article: Can Colic Be Cured?
This article is fantastic! It is about a clinic near Rhode Island that helps colicky children and their parents. There dream team of pediatricians, psychologists, and social workers offers intensive, research-backed treatment. The strategies taught at the clinic are not only for colicky children but can be used for any child that needs help with a night time routine and feeding schedules. Here are 5 suggestions I have actually followed in my parenting:
A Cry Diary
“All parents who come to the clinic are instructed to write down their baby’s behavior every 15 minutes during the day: sleeping, eating, awake, fussing, or crying. At the end of each day, they highlight the behaviors in different colors (e.g., yellow for fussing, red for crying), so patterns and fuss triggers begin to emerge.”
This is a great way to recognize what cries your baby are making. Finding the everyday routine that works for you is a great way to balance your life with a new baby. Recognizing why and when your baby is consistently crying can make a big difference in your next action. Grandma J always said there are only three things that a new baby cries about (1) Dirty Diaper (2) Hunger (3) Exhaustion. If you can refer to your Cry Diary you will start to pick up and react accordingly.
Nursing Routine
“Switch up the nursing routine. It’s very common for babies to doze off at the breast, which means they don’t get filled up and wake sooner looking to eat again. Twomey recommends nursing for between five and ten minutes on one breast, burping, then doing the same on the other breast. (At the next feeding, start on the opposite breast.) This transition helps keep the baby awake, so she can begin to separate sleeping from feeding. Fussy babies often have problems with overstimulation, so it’s also important to reduce noise and other distractions during feeding sessions.
“Use the breast mostly for feeding. It’s tempting to nurse when your baby fusses, but then she gets in the habit of grazing. Sucking is calming, however, so offer a pacifier if she needs soothing when it’s not mealtime. (Feedings should occur every two to three hours; watch for hunger cues such as increased alertness, lip smacking, and rooting.)”
I agree! I agree! I agree! My Sister-in-Law gave me a nursing bracelet when she visited me at the hospital with my first child. She instructed me that after I nurse I switch it to the opposite wrist and next time I don’t have to think, I just check to see what wrist the bracelet is on and that is the side I nurse. It is a great help in the middle of the night when you barely enter consciousness and feed your baby. Grandma J also used to say “Don’t let that baby suck on you all day! 10 minutes tops and then give them a binky!”
Consistent Bedtime
“Pick a consistent bedtime. Young babies shouldn’t be on a strict sleeping schedule, but it will help to create a nightly routine, says Twomey. The regimen could be as simple as dimming the lights, rocking, and playing gentle music. Exaggerate the difference between night and day feedings by keeping lights low and tucking your baby right back in afterward.”
“Downsize daytime sleep. It’s tempting to allow a fussy baby to keep snoozing, but napping more than three hours at a stretch during the day means she won’t sleep as long at night.”
In addition to a consistent bedtime routine at our house we have sleepy time friends that we introduce very early as a comfort. I like to breast feed while holding the sleepytime friend so the baby associates good feelings with breastfeeding and can run her fingers busily on the soft sleepy friend. Then when it is time for bed they can cuddle up and hold on to something consistent every time. We also try to keep sleep time friends only in the crib for bedtime. They can play with other toys during the day but come nap/bed time their one special friend is there waiting.
Take a Breather
“Step away when the going gets tough. During very tense periods, a baby will actually pick up on her parent’s anxiety, which ratchets up her own distress even more. If nothing is working, put your baby in a safe place, like her crib, and take a 10-minute breather.”
A hot or cold shower is a great place to take a breather! If my baby is feed, has a clean diaper and is still crying I wrap them up tight and lay them in bed. I then go and take my breather and more often than not by the time I am done my baby is sound asleep in their crib.
Mom’s need Naps too
“Nap, whenever, wherever. “It’s hard to overestimate the role that sleep has on a mother’s mental health,” says Twomey, who notes that once the moms they work with start sleeping better, the improvement in their emotional state and energy level is amazing.”
Do not forget this! Take time for yourself and reny your energy with a nap! I know it can be tempting to get on the computer, do laundry, catch up dishes, etc, etc, etc! The list is never over and will never bed done! So STOP take a nap and wake up with renewed energy and life! Everyone will be happier!
See the full article by Tula Karras a freelance writer in Brooklyn. Her work has appeared in Self, Real Simple, and Shape.
on Parenting.com Health Baby Article: Can Colic Be Cured?
Less Crust & More Sandwich
Do you cute your bread in triangles or squares? Grandma J always said you get less crust & more sandwich if you cut from corner to corner!
Motherhood, prioritize above all else
M. Russell Ballard, Read Full Article: “Daughters of God,” Ensign, May 2008, 108–10.
There is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood.
I was re-reading this article today and it stood out in my mind because Elder Ballard focuses his remarks “primarily on mothers, particularly on young mothers.”
I love this story…
The ward’s singing mothers’ chorus was providing the music, and I found myself sitting alone with our six children. I have never been so busy in my whole life. I had the hand puppets going on both hands, and that wasn’t working too well. The Cheerios got away from me, and that was embarrassing. The coloring books didn’t seem to entertain as well as they should.
As I struggled with the children through the meeting, I looked up at Barbara, and she was watching me and smiling. I learned for myself to more fully appreciate what all of you dear mothers do so well and so faithfully!
I am trying. And in the moments that I am trying hard it is so wonderful to get a little mention of appreciation from Garth (or anyone for that matter).
There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.
I have come to learn that mothers are all different. Children are all different. I have been very blessed to be able to work in my home during nap time and/or after bed time. I love Gracie and Ainsley with all my heart! I love Garth with all my heart! I am constantly learning the balancing act of prioritizing my family. I have always found that when I keep my priorites in order I get more accomplished in the day, my kids behave better, and I am a happier person.
I am impressed by countless mothers who have learned how important it is to focus on the things that can only be done in a particular season of life. If a child lives with parents for 18 or 19 years, that span is only one-fourth of a parent’s life. And the most formative time of all, the early years in a child’s life, represents less than one-tenth of a parent’s normal life. It is crucial to focus on our children for the short time we have them with us and to seek, with the help of the Lord, to teach them all we can before they leave our homes. This eternally important work falls to mothers and fathers as equal partners. I am grateful that today many fathers are more involved in the lives of their children. But I believe that the instincts and the intense nurturing involvement of mothers with their children will always be a major key to their well-being. In the words of the proclamation on the family, “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).
My mother has always said, “there is a time and season for everything”. Now is my time and season to be a loving mother to my toddler girls Gracie (3.5) and Ainsley (22 months).
We need to remember that the full commitment of motherhood and of putting children first can be difficult….There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony, and frustration. Mothers may feel they receive little or no appreciation for the choice they have made. Sometimes even husbands seem to have no idea of the demands upon their wives. As a Church, we have enormous respect and gratitude to you mothers of young children. We want you to be happy and successful in your families and to have the validation and support you need and deserve.
Yes! At times it is very difficult and at times motherhood is the most wonderful and easy. Elder Ballard then asks and answers 4 questions in simple terms:
- What can you do, as a young mother, to reduce the pressure and enjoy your family more?
Answer: Recognize the small and simple shining moments and the joy’s of motherhood
Answer: Do not over schedule. “Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.”
Answer: Cultivate your gifts and talents. “Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well.”
Answer: Pray, Study, and Teach the gospel, “There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, ‘We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.’” - What more can a husband do to support his wife, the mother of their children?
Answer: Show extra appreciation and give more validation for what your wife does everyday. “Notice things and say thank you—often. Schedule some evenings together, just the two of you.”
Answer: “Have a regular time to talk with your wife about each child’s needs and what you can do to help.”
Answer: “Give your wife a “day away” now and then. Just take over the household and give your wife a break from her daily responsibilities. Taking over for a while will greatly enhance your appreciation of what your wife does.”
Answer: Come home from work and take an active role with your family. - What can children, even young children, do?
Answer: Pick up your toys, do the dishes, make your bed without being asked. Say Thank You more often.
Answer: “Most of all, you can put your arms around your mother often and tell her you love her.” - What can the Church do?
Know them and be wise in what you ask them to do at this time in their lives. Alma’s counsel to his son Helaman applies to us today: “Behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6).
I hope all of you dear sisters, married or single, never wonder if you have worth in the sight of the Lord and to the leaders of the Church. We love you. We respect you and appreciate your influence in preserving the family and assisting with the growth and the spiritual vitality of the Church. Let us remember that “the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”). The scriptures and the teachings of the prophets and apostles help all family members to prepare together now to be together through all eternity. I pray that God will continually bless the women of the Church to find joy and happiness in their sacred roles as daughters of God.
Attachment Theory Question
Here is a question to think about from Attachment Parenting International. I will write my answer in a separate post. Feel free to comment – I would love to hear your thoughts on the question.
For some details behind the Question of Attachment Theory read below.
For some details behind the Question of Attachment Theory read below.
Stephanie // Sep 18, 2008 at 7:00 am wrote “I am trying to become more present in my life so that I can be more attentive and balanced for myself and our family. This is easy to do when the day and/or night is flowing smoothly and I easily have my cup filled. I am most challenged when I am overtasked, depleted, and running low on my cup. Knowing this, what suggestions do you offer for being gentle, positive, compassionate, and aware when you are completely not there? What have you done personally when in the midst of chaos to remain an Attached Parent?”
Attachment Theory From Wikipedia
What are The 8 Principles of Attachment Parenting?
- Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting
- Feed with Love and Respect
- Respond with Sensitivity
- Use Nurturing Touch
- Engage in Nighttime Parenting
- Provide Consistent and Loving Care
- Practice Positive Discipline
- Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life
Attachment theory, originating in the work of John Bowlby, is a psychological, evolutionary and ethological theory that provides a descriptive and explanatory framework for understanding interpersonal relationships between human beings. Attachment theorists consider the human infant to have a need for a secure relationship with adult caregivers, without which normal social and emotional development will not occur. However, different relationship experiences can lead to different developmental outcomes.
Within attachment theory, infant behaviour associated with attachment is primarily a process of proximity seeking to an identified attachment figure in stressful situations, for the purpose of survival. Infants become attached to adults who are sensitive and responsive in social interactions with the infant, and who remain as consistent caregivers for some months during the period from about six months to two years of age. During the later part of this period, children begin to use attachment figures (familiar people) as a secure base to explore from and return to.
| Attachment pattern |
Child | Caregiver |
|---|---|---|
| Secure | Protests caregiver’s departure and is comforted on return, returning to exploration. | Responds appropriately, promptly and consistently to needs. |
| Avoidant | Little or no distress on departure, little or no visible response to return. Quality of play often low. | Little or no response to distressed child. Discourages crying and encourages independence. |
| Ambivalent | Sadness on departure but warms to stranger. On return, ambivalence, anger, reluctance to warm to caregiver and return to play. Preoccupied with caregiver’s availability. | Inconsistent between appropriate and neglectful responses. |
| Disorganised | Stereotypies on return such as freezing or rocking. Lack of coherent coping strategy (such as approaching but with the back turned). | Frightened or frightening behaviour, intrusiveness, withdrawal, negativity, role confusion, affective communication errors and maltreatment. |